Confidential Information

I just wanted to write a post to answer a lot of questions we are getting.

Information about our son's birth, relinquishment and birth parents is confidential. I know these questions are just stemming out of curiosity. (I too found myself curious and biting my tongue when recently talking with someone who is adopting locally.)

I think adoption "etiquette" has changed in the last 20 years. Now it is highly recommended to tell your child of their adoption from a very young age and never stop telling them. It is not a one time talk. Children should not remember a time they were first told they were adopted (however, they may have a memory of first understanding what that means).

Also important information about their birth, relinquishment, and birth parents needs to be information that is kept confidential and told to them first. They should not be learning that information from other people: friends, family or neighbors. They don't need to feel as though "everyone was told about me, except me." This information will be given at age appropriate times, so it can be understood and dealt with. Then that information is theirs to share or not share with whom they feel appropriate.

I thank you for your respect in this subject.