I've been meeting a lot of new people because of our adoption. Everyone has a friend who's adopted or thinking about adopting. More interesting still has been the friends of friends that are Ethiopian.
I've recently met two wonderful Ethiopian women. Both were so incredibly friendly and gracious. One treated me like a saint! The other told me a most marvelous piece of information. I ask her if she by chance knew the meaning of our son's name Denekew. And she told me it means a kind of surprise.
13 December 2007
03 December 2007
Confidential Information
I just wanted to write a post to answer a lot of questions we are getting.
Information about our son's birth, relinquishment and birth parents is confidential. I know these questions are just stemming out of curiosity. (I too found myself curious and biting my tongue when recently talking with someone who is adopting locally.)
I think adoption "etiquette" has changed in the last 20 years. Now it is highly recommended to tell your child of their adoption from a very young age and never stop telling them. It is not a one time talk. Children should not remember a time they were first told they were adopted (however, they may have a memory of first understanding what that means).
Also important information about their birth, relinquishment, and birth parents needs to be information that is kept confidential and told to them first. They should not be learning that information from other people: friends, family or neighbors. They don't need to feel as though "everyone was told about me, except me." This information will be given at age appropriate times, so it can be understood and dealt with. Then that information is theirs to share or not share with whom they feel appropriate.
I thank you for your respect in this subject.
Information about our son's birth, relinquishment and birth parents is confidential. I know these questions are just stemming out of curiosity. (I too found myself curious and biting my tongue when recently talking with someone who is adopting locally.)
I think adoption "etiquette" has changed in the last 20 years. Now it is highly recommended to tell your child of their adoption from a very young age and never stop telling them. It is not a one time talk. Children should not remember a time they were first told they were adopted (however, they may have a memory of first understanding what that means).
Also important information about their birth, relinquishment, and birth parents needs to be information that is kept confidential and told to them first. They should not be learning that information from other people: friends, family or neighbors. They don't need to feel as though "everyone was told about me, except me." This information will be given at age appropriate times, so it can be understood and dealt with. Then that information is theirs to share or not share with whom they feel appropriate.
I thank you for your respect in this subject.
Adoption Vocabulary
I would like to educate on some adoption vocabulary. Caleb and I didn't know most of these terms and their purpose before this adoption journey and thought many of you might not either. These terms are used to keep adopted children from feeling like second class members of a family. When we are asked awkward questions our first purpose in answering is not to inform the questioner but to answer what our child needs to hear. I hope you find this informative and helpful.
Q. Is he your real son?
A. Yes, he is our REAL son and we are our adopted child's REAL parents.
Our son's birth parents are called BIRTH PARENTS or BIOLOGICAL PARENTS, also some people refer to a birth mother as a TUMMY MOMMY.
Q. Are they real siblings?
A. Although Ocean & Jaguar won't be biological siblings to Denekew they will be REAL SIBLINGS.
Q. Are you going to have any more kids of your own?
A. All our kids are OUR OWN. We may adopt again, but we don't plan to have any more BIOLOGICAL children.
Q. Is he your real son?
A. Yes, he is our REAL son and we are our adopted child's REAL parents.
Our son's birth parents are called BIRTH PARENTS or BIOLOGICAL PARENTS, also some people refer to a birth mother as a TUMMY MOMMY.
Q. Are they real siblings?
A. Although Ocean & Jaguar won't be biological siblings to Denekew they will be REAL SIBLINGS.
Q. Are you going to have any more kids of your own?
A. All our kids are OUR OWN. We may adopt again, but we don't plan to have any more BIOLOGICAL children.
13 November 2007
Accepting referral!
Truthfully we already knew in our hearts that Denekew is meant for our family, but now we are making it official! I can't believe it's more paper work! At least it doesn't look too long and tedious.
In the mean time I've sorted through all the tubs of saved baby clothes. And set up and scrubbed the high chair. And started working on getting Jag's clothes into the other dresser so that Denekew's clothes can be in the changing table dresser. And getting the last of our moving boxes unpacked and getting rid of stuff we don't need or use. Basically, you could say I'm "nesting". This is great; I never had this much energy when I was "nesting" during either of my pregnancies!
I'm still trying to talk Caleb into letting me set up the crib, though!
In the mean time I've sorted through all the tubs of saved baby clothes. And set up and scrubbed the high chair. And started working on getting Jag's clothes into the other dresser so that Denekew's clothes can be in the changing table dresser. And getting the last of our moving boxes unpacked and getting rid of stuff we don't need or use. Basically, you could say I'm "nesting". This is great; I never had this much energy when I was "nesting" during either of my pregnancies!
I'm still trying to talk Caleb into letting me set up the crib, though!
06 November 2007
We received a referral!
Today we received a referral of a baby boy, Denekew, he will be 2 months old later this week. Legally I can't put up any pictures. But he is adorable! Ocean says "He's soooo cute!" From here we will be making a formal acceptance of the referral and then waiting for a court date in Ethiopia as well as a US Embassy appointment. We will travel to Ethiopia for the US Embassy appointment. We can't believe this came so quick. We haven't even been on the waiting list a whole month!
12 October 2007
Officially on waiting list!
Our approval letter came from USCIS and we were officially placed on the waiting list for a child! Also our Dossier was sent to Washington DC for US authentication and just came back authenticated! It is now en route for Ethiopia for translation!
Everything is moving right along! Praise the Lord!
Everything is moving right along! Praise the Lord!
29 September 2007
Yekemeum Shai: Ethiopian Soap
While we wait the remaining months for our new baby we are taking the time to learn about Ethiopian culture and some basics of the Amharic language. We would like to share some of this with you through a fundraiser we are conducting to off set our adoption costs.
If you know us well, you know that we make soap. You have probably received soap from us as a gift or possibly have purchased soap from us. We decided to make a special Ethiopian soap as our fundraiser. We crafted this soap after Ethiopian spiced tea, Yekemeum Shai. Yekemeum Shai is a black tea with cardamom, cinnamon, and clove spices in it. Yekemeum Shai literally means “spiced tea.” Our Yekemeum Shai soap contains Palm, Coconut, and Caster oils for a smooth moisturizing lather; and essential oils from black tea, cardamom, cinnamon, and clove as well as ground dried cardamom for an amazing fragrance resembling the drink.
If you would like to support us through the purchase of Yekemeum Shai soap, we have priced it at $5 a bar. Even if you are not interested in our Ethiopian soap we encourage you to consider some of our other soaps. All sales help us fund our adoption. All of our other soaps are priced at $4 a bar or $12 for 4 bars.
Current soaps available:
Apple-Cinnamon
Cucumber-Melon
Lavender
Mango
Nag Champa
Strawberry
Unscented
Vanilla
Yekemeum Shai: Ethiopian
You can place an order by blog post, phone, mail or email!
Thank you for your continued support of our growing family!
God Bless you,
Caleb & Jen Oglesby
If you know us well, you know that we make soap. You have probably received soap from us as a gift or possibly have purchased soap from us. We decided to make a special Ethiopian soap as our fundraiser. We crafted this soap after Ethiopian spiced tea, Yekemeum Shai. Yekemeum Shai is a black tea with cardamom, cinnamon, and clove spices in it. Yekemeum Shai literally means “spiced tea.” Our Yekemeum Shai soap contains Palm, Coconut, and Caster oils for a smooth moisturizing lather; and essential oils from black tea, cardamom, cinnamon, and clove as well as ground dried cardamom for an amazing fragrance resembling the drink.
If you would like to support us through the purchase of Yekemeum Shai soap, we have priced it at $5 a bar. Even if you are not interested in our Ethiopian soap we encourage you to consider some of our other soaps. All sales help us fund our adoption. All of our other soaps are priced at $4 a bar or $12 for 4 bars.
Current soaps available:
Apple-Cinnamon
Cucumber-Melon
Lavender
Mango
Nag Champa
Strawberry
Unscented
Vanilla
Yekemeum Shai: Ethiopian
You can place an order by blog post, phone, mail or email!
Thank you for your continued support of our growing family!
God Bless you,
Caleb & Jen Oglesby